Comprehension
by Invader Sah
Summary: There has never been a relationship as strange as their's - everytime Yami is around Bakura and Marik, they do something to leave him utterly floored. A series of Psychoshipping One-Shots, main pairing Psycho, maybe Yamishipping in the future
1. What Do You See In Him?

_Okay, explanation time...Basiaclly put, I draw a lot of comics about this two. And I mean a lot. Lately I've been putting those comics into fanfiction, so you can all enjoy them. One particular sort of...'storyline' or repeating theme in my fictions is Yami trying to understand the mechanisms of Bakura and Marik's relationship; mainly how Bakura can stand everything Marik does. So this fan-fic will be a collection of one-shot stories, all basically about Yami observing from the outside on how the two interact._

_So main pairing is Psychoshipping; others that may be refered to are Angstshipping, Puzzleshipping, or Puppyshipping. They'll never be a main thing, but they may be referenced. Maybe, maybe...there will eventually be a Yamishipping one. I'm not sure. We'll see_

**Disclaimer: If I owned YuGiOh, Marik and Bakura would never be seperated for longer then an hour

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**Silence was an unusual thing to hear upon entering the house of the two largest psycho's in the world, so much that he actually hesitated in the open door - knocking was never necessary, because the door was always left open since neither occupant cared who entered for what reason. As long as they did whatever they wanted _quietly_.

Frowning thinly and slowly easing into the house the leather garbed male made his way into the first room; the kitchen to the immediate right of the door. As he had suspected, one of the owner's was sitting at the table, pencil in hand, lazily doodling on a piece of paper. The reason for the silence was made known quickly - the other occupant of the house was currently absent.

Good. That made this all the easier. "Hey thief?" Yami's voice broke the silence; the named albino didn't even so much as twitch at the sudden sound, instead lazily lifting his eyes from the page with an absent sort of hum, acknowledging the other's presence as well as encouraging him to say what he wanted to. After all, the question had been obvious in the fellow dark's voice, so it was easy to guess he had something more to say.

"I've been wondering.." Was how he began, arms folding over his leather-clad chest as he gazed down at the pale spirit sitting before him. "What exactly do you see in Marik anyway?"

A pale eyebrow was raised in enquiry, encouraging the ex-pharaoh to explain exactly what he meant by _that_. "I mean, he's crazy, spontaneous, and makes no sense half the time; and yet you no only put up with him, you also love him unconditionally....why?"

Whatever the spirit had been intending to say in response was rendered moot by the loud exclamation that caused him to twist in his chair. "KURA!"

Lips came crashing down upon his own; much to Yami's surprise Bakura didn't even miss so much as a beat, one hand flashing up to fist purple material and yank Marik closer, responding to the kiss without the slightest hesitation.

The instant the kiss broke a tanned forehead was pressed firmly against a pale one, deep purple gazing into red tinted brown. "I missed you so much." The youngest yami crooned, earning an amused grin from his lover.

"You were only gone for fifteen minutes." The thief teased, seemingly unsurprised by the startled expression that crossed tan features at that statement.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Wow..." Frowning thoughtfully the blond pressed closer to the blue haired, one hand sliding up to rest against the one still gripping the material of his cloak. "'To long' is an awful lot shorter then I remember.."

A moments pause as the two mused over that, Yami looking from one to the other with a growing look of understanding. Ra, he could practically _taste_ the love radiating off those two..it was immense. Undeniable; with everything they did, it was just...

Suddenly excitement sparked on purple eyes and Marik grinned hugely, gently removing the hand gripping his cloak and setting it down. "I picked you up some dinner from the butcher!" He announced with an almost giddy tone, spinning around and bounding away. "I'll go get it!"

Red-brown watched him as he disappeared out the still open door, tender smile slowly blending into a much more arrogant smirk as Bakura turned back to face the stunned pharaoh still standing in front of him. "You were saying...?"

"Wow..." Was the first thing Yami managed to murmur, raising his eyebrows slowly. It all made sense now; the reason Bakura could love Marik as much as he did...was because Marik loved him even more. "Well, that answers my question."

Smirking now the thief returned his attention to the paper before him, picking up his pencil and beginning to draw. "Good. Now go away so I can finish drawing you in a dress."

Nodding obediently Yami began to turn away; then the words sank in.

"....Wait."

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_Don't ask me why Bakura was drawing Yami in a dress...O_O I have no idea. Originally he was actually drawing Yami on fire. But I changed it. Just cuz._

_R&R! I love you all!  
_


	2. What's Wrong With Him?

_Another Yami trying to figure out Bakura and Marik...Doesn't work to well. x: That poor bastard should quit while he's behind, before he falls so behind he falls off a cliff..uhm...Anyway!_

_...hot damn I'm spoiling you guys today aren't I?  
_

**Disclaimer: If I owned Yugioh, Marik and Bakura would buy a house and live together

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**When one walked into this house, one had to go in prepared to see some pretty...peculiar things. Considering who lived in said establishment, it was only expected that things would get rather strange; he knew this. Long had it been since he had accepted the fact he was never going to find anything _normal_ when he walked into the house, unless by chance one of the landlords was away, in which case the other was bound to be brooding, sulking, or just doing generally nothing until his partner in crime, as well as in love, returned from whatever business he had set out on.

Thus was his reason for being so utterly perplexed to walk into the living room, knowing _full well_ that both of the owners were home, only to discover one of them sitting on the couch instead of with his lover, gazing into space with an utter look of concentration.

Part of him said not to ask - to just turn around and walk away, because chances were the reason was _not_ something he wanted to hear..And yet he was unable to stop himself. "Marik, what-?"

Whatever the Pharaoh had intended to enquire was interrupted by a loud '_**Sh!**_' as the blond twisted around to glare at him, baring his fangs in obvious agitation. "I'm _trying_ to hear the silence!"

Utter, complete quiet. At that exact instant, for the first time in his life, Yami found himself completely and utterly at a loss for words. Minutes ticked by before he slowly turned around and exited the room, instead half-slumping into the kitchen, mind sufficiently burned into a crisp.

Coming to a halt he stared at the other occupant of the room - one Bakura, who was leaning casually against the kitchen counter, gazing rather intently at the back of a box of Captain Crunch. It took only a couple seconds for the albino to clue into the fact he was no longer alone, redirecting his gaze to raise an eyebrow slowly at the dumbstruck tri-haired standing beside him. "...What?"

The dam broke. "_What is __**wrong**__ with him!?"_Yami shrieked, shoulders hunching, hands clenching into fists so tightly the knuckles were white, eyes clamped closed as he screamed loud enough to disturb the family seven houses down.

Surprisingly unaffected by the loud reaction the thief merely lifted both pale brows, looking at the other with a rather calm expression. "Who? Marik?" He enquired, sounding not at all surprised that his lover had somehow managed to get the Pharaoh so riled up.

"_He's __**listening**__ to silence_!" Came the loud, almost hysterical response.

Slowly the impassive look became an amused one; lips curving into an almost ironic smirk the pale skinned yami let out a small snicker. "Oh, that's _nothing_. Give him a second." He drawled, sounding as if he found this _way_ to funny.

"Wha..?"

"KURA!" The loud, almost hysterical voice caused the pharaoh to jerk violently as their subject of conversation erupted into the kitchen, latching onto the calm looking thief with a panicked expression on his face.

Simply gazing at his lover with an almost patient expression, Bakura responded with a complacent, "Yes Marik?"

"We have to buy all the twinkies before they go out of style!" The blond was having some sort of terror fit, clinging to the albino so tightly it _had_ to hurt, but the pale skinned yami remained relaxed and level-headed.

"Of course." Bakura's response sounded bewilderingly understanding, as if everything the other was saying to him made absolute sense. Which was making Yami seriously begin to doubt the other's sanity. Or what was left of it anyway.

Acting as if on sudden inspiration Marik released his partner, beginning to jog out of the kitchen and towards the front door. "Gather the rabbits!" He called over his shoulder before disappearing outside, cloak billowing behind him.

"Can do!" Bakura called after him in the same, understanding he had used thus far. That done, he turned back to find the shocked Pharaoh gaping at him in open bewilderment.

Shocked couldn't even _begin_ to describe what the other spirit was at this point. "Did you actually _understand_ that!?" Yami exclaimed, close to grabbing the nearest phone and dialling the mental institute. Much to his surprise, however, Bakura's expression promptly became completely and utterly flat.

"Not at all." He stated, voice as emotionless as his face before he turned to make his way steadily out the door with an absent, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go stop him from hijacking another ice cream truck."

A long pause, before Yami slowly let his face go flat. _I am never coming here again..._

"Marik, put the car wires down!"

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_This ones a little different xD If you're all wondering, this is actually my Marik. Meaning the version of him I usually draw; insane, spontanious, and a lot more childish then the one you normally see. I've never actually written him before, so he'll be new to you =P He's a lot more amusing then normal Marik, I can tell you that_

_R&R babes!  
_


	3. Of Flashlights And Mathmatics

_Third upload tonight! Last upload tonight!...I swear I'll update LE tomorrow x_X! -flees-_

**Disclaimer: If I owned Yugioh, Marik and Bakura would have been introduced at the very beginning.**

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As he made his way down the streets of Domino, the once Pharaoh carefully ran through the mental grocery list his beloved hikari had given him. _Eggs, milk, icing sugar, cinnamon, Ra he eats a lot of sweets, oranges, vanilla, chocolate chips..._

"Pharaoh!" Eyebrow raising at the sound of his title Yami came to a halt, pondering wether or not he wanted to turn around. Since that was a voice he _really_ wasn't very fond of, and it would probably be best if he just continued on his way. But there was a strange enthusiasm in the others voice.

Sighing through his teeth, Yami looked over his shoulder. "_What, _thief." He growled, glaring darkly at the excited form of Bakura who was grinning at him. Which in itself was unnerving. An excited thief was usually a very _bad_ thief.

"You have _got_ to see this!" Bakura announced, hand flashing out to grab the other yami by the wrist, proceeding to drag the very reluctant Pharaoh back the way he had come.

_Must not mind crush must not mind crush_. Yami repeated the mantra over and over again in his head; at one time he would have done as such without hesitation. But ever since Bakura and Marik had stopped attempting to take over the world - which, come to think of it, had been about the same time they had become lovers - Yugi had been outwardly disproving to him hurting them. After all, they were pretty harmless now.

"Marik!" Jerking from his thoughts at Bakura's shout, Yami mentally groaned. Oh Ra above, what had the Tomb Keeper gotten into-wait, was that...?

"....He fit a whole flashlight in his mouth?" Yami asked slowly, one eyebrow lifting as he took in the site of the blond male sitting there, cheeks puffed out and light emitting from his closed lips.

Bakura grinned. "Two actually." _What_!? "But that's not it." Sounding all to cheerful the thief dropped his wrist, instead bounding over to his partner in crime, also known as the love of his life. "Marik, what's 52 times 36 divided by 63 squared?" He chirped.

Yami frowned. "Thief, Marik can't tell the difference between water and acid." The Pharaoh drawled, completely unsure on what _point_ the other was trying to make. _Seriously how do you fit two flashlights in your mouth there's not enough room_! "How do you expect him to-"

"Rounded to the nearest hundredth, 0.47." Marik announced, having taken the flashlights out of his mouth while Yami was puzzling over how they had fit in the first place.

A calculator's blinking screen interrupted his vision. "Read the numbers, Pharaoh." Bakura practically purred, and Yami's mouth dropped in shock when he realized that Marik had been correct. As in, _absolutely_ right. Unless this was something the two had planned..."60 divided by 7 times 4 squared?" Yami tested, making sure this wasn't some horrible scam.

Marik rolled his eyes, clearly unimpressed. "1857.6." He drawled in a tone that clearly said 'duh'.

Wholy fucking..."Holy Ra, he's brilliant!" Yami exclaimed, thoroughly and utterly shocked. How the fuck had this happened!? Marik, the same Marik who put a battery up his nose to see if he could make his eyes light up, _was doing complicated math __**in his head**__ in under five seconds_!

"Who's idea was it to mix flour with milk and yeast to make bread?"

Silence. It was at that moment that Yami remembered this was Marik; the same Marik who put a battery up his nose to see if he could make his eyes light up.

"Return to your flashlight sucking." Bakura crooned in a surprisingly content voice, as if Marik's question had been the enquiry of a young child; wait, come to think of it, wasn't Marik a young child?

"Kay!"

"...Can I go now?"

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_R&R!_


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